girl, you'll be a woman soon

Growing up can be a drag, or it can be the best thing that ever happened to you - just ask Celine Lopez.

When I was in high school, I was neither the popular girl nor the geek. I failed to be the campus sweetheart because I was not mestiza, and despite several tries, I failed to bag the coveted skincare commercial that was required of every Catholic school “it” girl. I was never the nerd, either. I was too naughty to be one, and with such unimpressive grades, no one could really fault me for being gifted. So I was sort of the girl who was just there. I hung out with the cool and fast girls, but I hung out with the muses of the math club, too. So what happened between days wafted with Davidoff Cool Water and amped-up Honda Civics to the days of Creed Silver Mountain and bare Honda CRV’s? Not much unfortunately.

In college, I just totally didn’t fit in. I guess I changed, too. I wasn’t as insecure and trusting as I was in high school. I became more wary of people and more certain of what I wanted and expected. Plus, I started to like really obnoxious things. In freshman year, I used my favorite Kelly as my school bag – it made me look like a matrona rather than cavalier and stylish. I though everyone was boring. Truth was, I was dead scared of everyone. I started having lunch in my car with my best friend, Melissa. I felt alone, and I just focused all my attention on food. I hated crabs in a time the world was still hating fat.

I had nothing going on in my life, so when I was given the opportunity to train in Newscentral 23, I jumped at the chance. It opened a whole new world to me. I found myself having crushes on every guy in the newsroom and adoring every female newscaster who walked in. So in order to look serious, I wore Escada (Die at 18!) and toted briefcase filled with Vogue and Post-its. It didn’t last longas I soon realized my sole purpose in the newsroom was to fetch coffee and hope an assignment no one wanted would be given to me.

I realized that this very real world, with people leading lives that were extraordinarily ordinary, was far more interesting that the not-quite-real world of the Manila-Polo-Club-BMW-Brett-Easton-Ellis set. I had a plan, you see, and that gave me a purpose: To make adults whom I admired take me seriously.

It all stared rather predictably. After Newscentral 23, I moved on to a magazine, and then to The Philippine Star. I started doing happy hour, even though I was under the table after two Cosmopolitans. I started dating men who were way more sophisticated than I could handle, thus making me stutter in deep pretense. When you reach that moment in your life where curfew becomes forgotten cramp in your social life and Gucci and champagne becomes staples in your daily life, it can be funny how tricks you into thinking you’re finally an adult. Looking back, it’s the most childish I’ve ever been. I almost wasted that opportunity of having such a great job and nearly resorted to having a fake job at my dad’s office. I was far from being interesting, and rather, provided great entertainment to more rational souls.

I got the joke. I got the trick. I’m still far from being the boring “oh, I just stayed home and get fat” party retiree. But I’ve definitely learned to dance the dance. Falling in love changes things. In may case, I fell in love with my job. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to go home and dream up stories to write, shoots to organize, and models to book for the next Ystyle cover.

It’s really important to have respect for what you do and not see it as some grunt job. That’s the fundamental thing. You start to gain some respect for you life and your responsibilities. I’ve always believed that deprivation makes the world go round. Once the umbilical cord rots and drops, it can suck. Begging for extra allowance from the ‘rents is replaced by overtime and cheap coffee. Men still live with their mommies. Thirtysomethings still have their dad’s credit cards. So if you want an honorable kind of life, you have to force it upon yourself. Unless you have Nazi parents like mine, who had the foresight to snip my Platinum card on my 20th birthday.

Today, I’m living a rather lucky adult life. I have a job I love. I have friends whom I cherish. A boyfriend who lives on his own. A tiny apartment I can truly call my own. When I was 10, I told my grandfather that by the time I turn 25, I’d have my own house in Forbes Park and be married to the Prince of Windsor. Well, I’m not even close to being a Bruneiyuki, and that house in Forbes continues to be a myth. But things turned out better than expected. So what If I live from paycheck to paycheck? I’m just happy that in working hard to make my plan to earn respect work out, I ended up with something even better. What matters most is that I learned to respect myself.

from Seventeen magazine, Vol. 8, No. 2, March 2007, Page 56
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truly, it inspired me.

just like her, i was really not a stand-out when i was in high school. my high school prom was never really that unforgettable for me. i was only able to be asked to dance by two guys, the other guy was even "forced" to dance with me because all of his friends are on the dance floor. i wasn't able to pass the audition for our Dance Troupe. i also didn't make it to the try-outs of our volleyball varsity. unfortunately, the girl who didn't finish the try-outs gets to be on the team. i didn't win the Science Quiz Bee i joined in. i also didn't win an essay writing contest that my classmates insisted me to join. i wasn't able to be a member of our school's cheering squad because my first boyfriend was against it. he doesn't want me to wear cheerleading outfits. talk about UNLUCKY.

during that time, i really thought i was a failure. but of course, there are also good stuffs about high school. i get to have good grades. and from second year to fourth year, i was in the honors class. i was also active in class-to-class competitions. and i really have great friends whom up to know, are the greatest girlfriends i have.

Celine's article inspired me to be a stand-out. actually, the whole March issue of Seventeen magazine does. it offers a lot of OJT advices that would really help me since i am going to have my OJT this year. this article has made me serious about growing up and be excited about it. before, i was so scared because i know there would be a lot of responsibilities. but now, it seems like i want to live each day of my life as a highlight of myself. it gives me the realization of respecting myself and giving my all to everything that i do.

now that i am close to graduating, i am starting to get serious about everything that i do. it's better to do things right at this early point of my life. life really is something that is worth it for God to give it to us. and starting now, i am going to live my life step-by-step according to what i love.