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Saturday, Jul 17 2004, 12:33:39 AM
"i have a cute seatmate. his surname is Fabros. i forgot his first name e.. that seat was supposed to be in English lang but i hope all classes na. hindi siya snob guy. he talks to me unlike other guys na kahit smile wla. he keeps me company sa row namin na puro guys. actually our block was composed mainly of guys. i have a classmate nga who looks like King (the singer). he's gentleman nga and really nice. bsta this seatmate of mine is my ultimate present crush.Ü he will not be able to read this nman e. sayang nga lang i can't get his number kasi i still have no phone pa. syang.. he can make me laugh with his jokes.Ü hehehe.. ang daming kilig moments!"
Saturday, Jul 31 2004, 03:43:09 AM
"i have a crush.Ü his name is.. NIGEL. he can't read this nman e.. kya share ko na rin. he plays pRO kaya nagkakasundo kami. he even gave me 100K. bait niya no?Ü i send him sweet quotes.. ewan ko lang kung halata niya na. tinulungan ko rin siya mag modKore.. super naapreciate niya. bait bait ko daw..Ü super dami kong kilig moments, promise.. kaya lang sabi niya may nililigawan na siya.. name ata niya is PRINCESS.. i read from his bulletin in friendster.. but i'm not that affected. at least nakakausap ko siya.Ü and he appreciates me.. ayun.. hehe.."
Wednesday, Aug 11 2004, 03:33:54 PM
"what is up with mwah?Ü hmmm.. i'm here sa school. just had our report in CS114P. it's okay.. halos wlang nakikinig.. pero at least we had some audience nman kahit papano. wut else? we're gonna watch a movie mmaya.. "Now That I Have You" daw. baduy na kung baduy pero feel ko makakarelate ako don.. about WAFER. yan ang code ko kay nAyJ..Ü i had a great prediction kanina on what he will wear today. tama ako, orange.Ü hmmm... siguro red ang suot niya bukas.. let me wear red din.. hehe.. tapos last night, he texted me. ang sweet.Ü hay.. kung di ko lang alam na may nililigawan na siya, siguro i'm falling head over heels for him.. wait, hindi pa ba?Ü shucks.. malapit na.. do i have to control it?! i wrote a sentence in our English class which is:
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU INSPIRE ME..
it was for him.Ü but he has no idea.."
Friday, Aug 13 2004, 11:54:17 PM
"You have no idea how you inspire me. You give me strength to come to school every morning, to wake up at four, to ride a two-hour bus ride to school and to dress up nicely. All that for a reason, a simple reason which is you. You’re the first person I look up to every morning. The sight of your Lee shirts lights me up. I actually knew all the colors you wear, red, blue, gray and orange. Don’t blame me for being so stuck with you. You’re so nice and so easy to talk to. You’re smile just make me shiver and your touch sends electricity down my spine. I know it’s just a month since I knew you. But there’s something about you that makes my heart fall. Anyway, I am so glad how you trust me in little ways. You shared a lot of things to me already: your high school, your past, your family, your interests and one-fourth of your personal life. All these things are kind of similar to mine that makes us connected. The moment we were seated together in English. I never thought you would talk to me. You were seated with your friend and I thought I would be totally ignored. But you did talk to me. I was happy. Our English class lightens up my day. You’re there beside me, listening to our professor without any idea how much I dream about you every night. I’m there, watching your every move and wishing that we would be much closer. When we talked, your look is the one I look forward to. I value the moment when we lock our eyes even for just a second. And when our elbows touch, that was an important part of my life. You have no idea how I always waited for your questions. When you ask me something about the subject, I wished that these questions could lead to a lot more cool and interesting topic that could lead us to talk the whole time. These things made me wish that our English class would not end. You mean a lot to me. You have no idea how I admire you. You were a poet. And that impressed me. I just wish that somehow, you would write one for me. Oh well, everyone can dream right? I know we’re just friends. I know you’re focused with a certain person right now. You told me that. My heart could feel a little ache inside whenever we talk about it. But then, I know who I am. A friend. Someone who cares for you so much. Someone who has been thinking about you all the time. Someone whose happiness is to see you smile. Someone who yearns for your talks and someone who wishes that you’ll talk to her each day. You have no idea how much I value little things that you do for me. You have no idea how I get so nervous when you’re around. And the fact that you knew I exist and you didn’t treat me as invisible can simply make me happy. My inbox is full of your messages. I can’t simply erase them because every word that comes from you matters to me. How I wish I could court you just like you do. I’ll send you poems and be with you if I could. But I’m a girl and all I could do is to dream, to think about you and to miss you. I miss you. Really. I don’t know what I’ll do if I couldn’t bear with these feelings anymore. Someday you’ll know what I feel. That’s a promise. But I don’t know how and when. I just know I would. These words can describe how I feel for you."
Wednesday, Aug 25 2004, 01:31:21 AM
"I think I’m starting to fall again but this time, it’s tough. A simple crush had turned into some kind of a major attraction. I know it’s not infatuation because I’ve never been infatuated before and I like him not because of his good looks but because of who he really is. I really feel good when he’s around me. With just a simple hi and a small smile in his face lights me up. He can really make my day. I am always looking forward to a great conversation everyday and fortunately, it does happen. But then, a part of my mind wants me to stop what I feel. You see, I know he only thinks of me as his friend because he once told me that he’s courting someone else. Then lately, his friend told me that he already stopped courting that lucky girl. But I’m not that sure though. And I should really not expect that he would like me now that he stopped courting her. We’ve been sending text messages to each other containing I miss you’s and I care for you quotes. He’s been so sweet but I don’t know if he really mean that or he’s just sending those for the sake of replying. We also have some short conversation over text and I really appreciate how he asks me if I’m already at home or if I ate already. That would make me so kilig. We also have a lot of conversations personally because he’s my seatmate in one of my subjects. I also appreciate the fact that he does trust me with his personal story. He’s been telling me a lot of things in the past. I was asking him, actually. I’m glad it was okay for him because I’ve been asking him some weird questions. Well, I wonder if he noticed that. And sometimes, I even caught him staring at me. I caught him five times and my best friend caught him twice. I don’t want to expect anything. That’s what I was always telling myself. I can easily fall in love. That’s the hard thing with me. Anyway, he also asks for my help in some of our subjects. I was also flattered because he trusts me with my knowledge. We also have the same interest in a lot of things; like Ragnarok and some experiences in our personal life. We have a lot in common. When we see each other in the halls, we never forget to greet each other unlike my other guy classmates. I’m also the only one he texts among our girl classmates. How long would I keep this? I know he’ll know but not now. Someday. Someday when I’m ready, when I can’t take it anymore. And I’d be ready of what will happen. I’ll be ready for rejection. I will be."
Wednesday, Aug 25 2004, 01:32:43 AM
"What the hell am I thinking? Tomorrow would be the answer. Tomorrow would be the day when I will find out if he is still on the run with that lucky girl. He actually knew I liked him. I didn’t tell him. He found it with himself, with his keen senses. I thought that if he found out, he would totally ignore me. But it was okay with him. Nothing has changed when he found out about it. Actually, it was like we have some kind of a connection. Closeness that there are things that only the two of us can understand. I just wish that this could lead to something else. I don’t just want to be his friend. He’s very important to me. I care for him so much and right now, I am so in love with him. There was a time when he told me that he was depressed and when I found out, I became depressed too and was very sad for him. I wanted him to be happy even if I am not the reason. He completes me. I am so serious. I really wish that our relationship could lead to something else. Something interesting. Something worth waiting. Because if there is, I can wait until forever.
ang PAG-IBIG ko sayo, ito'y totoo
wala ng iba
ikaw at ako lang ang nasa isip at panaginip"
Wednesday, Aug 25 2004, 01:33:01 AM
"It was not only me who said that I am in love. His friend Ron had told me that I am. I had a great day today even though I knew that he’s still on the run with that girl but this time, he has some competition with his ex-best friend. How long would I bear what I feel? I was the one whom he shares about his personal life and not his friends. I was the first to know everything. Why me? I like him and he knew I liked him but why would he tell me that? Well, he told me I’m trustworthy. He told me that he saw it through my eyes so that means, he’s really looking deep within me. How deep. He’s really so impressive in many ways. Kaya nga ko in love sa kanya e. A while ago in PE, we have a game, it was Dodge Ball. The girls were the one who will throw the ball over the guys. When it was our turn, it was Nigel’s group of guy’s turn too. I was the great ball thrower in our group and super sakto when I hit him. Ako pa nakatama! Then there were lots of murmurs after what happened. He even praised me for hitting so well even though I let him out of the game. My friend Janna told me that after that incident, his friends were looking at me and it’s as if they were talking about Nigel and me. Then my friend Marxi told me that almost all of our classmates knew something about Nigel and me. I was confused. There was nothing about us. I mean, that was what I know. Trixia also saw Nigel looking at me a lot of times and even Janna. Janna told me that he might have some feelings for me if we maintain the closeness that we have together. I was really happy today. I just wish that somehow, things might change. If only he’s not courting someone, there would be a strong possibility that he would like me. But I am not so sure of the things that are happening right now. Marxi said that it might be Nigel who told their crew about it. What would happen tomorrow? I talked with Nigel kanina, asking if he has some extra calculator because we have an exam tomorrow. He asked me if I studied already. Wow, he’s concerned. He even said sorry because he doesn’t have anything to lend me. He doesn’t talk about anything if there was something that happened a while ago. Before our PE, we have a three hour break and through out that period, I was searching for Nigel. I saw him in the library and I had the courage to sit beside him. I was so brave. I can’t believe I did that. I had so much confidence. We have a connection. We have SOMETHING.."
Wednesday, Sep 8 2004, 02:27:40 PM
"i am in school right now.. doing absolutely nothing. my Wizard is already level 66!! ang lufet na..Ü may phen and heal clip na rin yun.. hahaha! great achievement ko na un. later, i'm gonna be with Nayj.. well, i hope matuloy coz were gonna talk about it pa. sana it will really be okay with him. pero he was the one who told me nman na dun ako maglaro. i played kasi kahapon and it cost me 80 pesos from 1.00 to 3.30. it's so mahal..Ü how i wish magmura ang mga comp shop para makapag-adik mode ako diba? heheh.. i really loved playing ragnarok lalo na pag nagpplay din si Nayj. masaya ko ngayon.. super baliw.. in love kasi.. hay.. ang sarap mainlove.. sobra!Ü"
.
"i just finished my exercise about HTML.. woohoo.. after ten years.. whatever.
i played Ragnarok again last night with the bugoy: JOJOT, PAOLOT and GELOT..Ü and me? NESSAPOT! o db, we're so cute! Nigel even used the name i given him sa name niya sa Guild. our guild nga pla is Horadrim. i don't even know what that is but they told me it was cool. well, whatever.
Nigel and i had a party (RAGNAROKALLY speaking) and we are so unbeatable. ang LUFET! name of the party? GELOT-POTPOT. hay.. we're so inspeparable even in Ragna World. Damn..
how about BEPWEK? nung nag-login ako, Nigel said na party na kagad kami sa alarms. eto nmang si Bepwek (Marxi), sabi, 'eto na lovers.. ano yan, date with the alarms?!' haha.. i was kinda kilig but i didn't react.. neither did Nigel. hmm.. his name is so pretty. N pa kami pareho.. ano ba to, umuusbong nnman ang kababawan ko.. hirap tlga pag inlove.. hay..
i'm in love. i'm really in love.."
