Is he 'The One'?

i've been reading so many articles about relationships that tackles about dating many guys. according to them, it would be better to date many men than sticking to only one. they say, it is early to commit when you're still around your teen's or twenty's. you would never know what you really want in a relationship if you only date a single guy for more than two years. and if ever you were committed to the same guy eversince you were in high school, that would only give you regret once you married him. according to them, you might realize that he's not actually the one you wanted.

as for me, i've had two serious relationships. these two relationships lasted more than two years. i've never dated anyone else when i was still their girlfriend. i was the loyal one, the faithful one, the honest one and the understanding one. yes, all one's. and i've loved faithfully even if i wasn't sure if they were 'the one'.

my first relationship occupied all my high school dating experience. i never dated anyone back in high school except him. yes, there have been some suitors but he was officially the only one that i dated. during those times, i was happy and inspired. our relationship has never brought any distractions in my studies. my parents were very supportive though i was only 14 when i had my first boyfriend. he was 3 years older than me. and having him as a boyfriend made me a lot more popular. during that time, a sophomore dating a senior is a big deal. some of the senior girls even gave me evil stares whenever i walk along the lobby. but it was not absolutely the reason why he's my boyfriend. it was because i loved him. i didn't know how to love even before i met him. he was actually the one who taught me those things.

when our high school prom came, no one asked me to be his prom date. of course, everyone knows i had a boyfriend. our school did not allow anyone outside the school to attend the prom. it was the only prom i attended. and the worst. i only had two dances, and the second guy only asked me because all of his friends were dancing and he doesn't want to be alone. after that, i want to blame the fact that i have a boyfriend. that i am not free to be with other guys. and for the first time in four years of my high school life, i wanted to experience dating other guys.

right before my high school graduation, we broke up. maybe he thought the same thing, too. he met many interesting girls. and i know that being so young and inexperienced, i am no superior to college girls. because of that, i thought that being in a relationship was a waste. i thought that i did not enjoy my high school life because i had no freedom. but i knew that things happen for a reason. as i've read somewhere: 'someday, someone is going to let you know why things in the past never worked out'. i never regret anything.

i met my current boyfriend when i was in college. because i came from a hard and tiring relationship, i wasn't expecting to meet anyone at the moment. my mom told me to focus more on my studies. and so i did. but because of our closeness and being with each other all the time, i gently fell without knowing it. when i met him, he already had a girlfriend. i was the 'bestfriend', the one who is advising him of love solutions and showing him the fake smile of happiness that is actually hurting. of course, i was hurting on the inside but i just nagged it since i knew where i should stand. i knew my limitations. i don't want to ruin a relationship since i don't want that to happen to me. i did not know what i did but little did i know that he was falling for me, too. we decided to be a couple right after he broke up with his girlfriend. i know that we've hurt so many people along the way but what i feel for him was real.

all through out college, i only dated him. and since i've experienced the same thing in high school, i was actually shocked that i did not feel the same way about meeting other guys. my friends told me that i was very lucky to find somebody who would make me happy at an early stage of my life. and since i met him, i did not only seek a boyfriend in him. but a bestfriend, a tutor, an everyday companion, a joke pal, a textmate, a brother, a movie pal, a shopping pal, a lover and my ever after.

as someone who has experienced serious relationships and took commitment seriously, i am still not closing my doors in the future. i know that some things may happen that i would not expect. he may be or not be the one i may end up with. for me, finding 'the one' is not exactly jumping from one guy to another. it's about knowing the person who would make you feel comfortable and happy at the same time. it's about knowing someone who would accept you for who you are. being stable with somebody for a long time does not make you lose a chance of experiencing other things. it's actually a way of dating many times, but only with the same person. along in your relationship, you would learn and explore new things about your partner. it's just the same thing as meeting new guys every month.

don't be afraid to commit. as long as you're happy and inlove, it would not hurt. love and be loved!

- definitely my own!