goodluck to my everdearest mom.. :)

i've actually told myself that if my mom leaves, it wouldn't be much harder since she's been going out of the country for quite sometime. and her former job doesn't require her time off to stay home that long. so even if she's still in the country, it seems like she's not even here at all.

i also told myself that maybe when she's already in afghanistan, i wouldn't be bothered that much. my mom has reached her 50's already (sorry sa pagbubuking. hehe..). and as we all know, older women gets much irritated that easily which makes us all irritated too. and she tends to make me do things that i'm not in the mood of, like trimming her eyebrows, doing her nails or even plucking her underarm hair. she also spends a lot of time playing Dynomite and Textwist in the computer. by the time she's finished, Jop is already at home and that means, i have no time to use it anymore. good thing she bought me a laptop by the way.. yipeee!

but now that my mom has left just yesterday, i feel lonely. i may not be vocal about how i love her but i kissed her on the cheek and hugged her a bit before i left for class on the day of her flight. i didn't say how much i love her. i just told her to take care of herself. and i know she knows all the things i still wanted to say. honestly, i am missing her already.

i know her trip is not the same as her other trips. because the next time that i would be seeing her is after six months. it's not after a week or after a month.

everytime i see my dad not smiling or is thinking deeply, i feel more lonely and suddenly i have this urge to cheer him up with a little nudge. i wanted to erase sad thoughts running through his mind. i don't want to see him lonely. the last time i saw his sad face, i cried in my bedroom. why? because it makes me feel guilty. i am the reason why he can't go with my mom in afghanistan. i am still not finished with my studies.

as soon as i get the right thesis in my mind, as soon as i blew all of our professor's minds, as soon as i made our panelists shut up, i would really scream out loud! i mean, i really really want to graduate already and help my brothers with all the household bills. i don't want to be just a sister who doesn't contribute anything here. i want to be a sister that they can be proud of and someone whom they can depend on. i also want to be a daughter that my parents would talk about with their colleagues and their friends. i want to be somebody already to make everyone proud.

anyways, happy birthday to olive cabrera! and belated happy birthday to chasha! hehe..